Ever feel like you’re trying to be everything to everyone? I’ve been there. Recently, I had to face a hard truth: I’d accepted a project I thought was right for me, only to realise it was completely beyond my depth.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when you’re used to saying yes to every opportunity. While I was juggling a dozen things, I kept hearing this advice: “If you’re not shouting Hell yeah! then it’s a no.”
I considered this and realised that this research project wasn’t a “Hell yeah!” for me. It was a “maybe” at best. And in the world of passion and purpose, “maybe” isn’t good enough. I hesitated to send that email, worried I’d seem like I was afraid of taking risks.
But then I decided to thoroughly think it through. I wrote down what I wanted from this project: a good relationship with my supervisor, the right guidance to understand what I was doing, and of course, a publication. Then I compared that with the reality: my supervisor and I weren’t on the same page, I was assumed to be more competent than I was, and I was spreading myself too thin. It was clear that this wasn’t the right fit for me.
If you don’t feel passionate about something or you’re not good at it, you can easily be replaced. Someone else can do it better and give it the “Hell yeah!” it deserves. Before you get to that stage and put yourself through misery, reflect on how you genuinely feel. If it doesn’t make you go “Absolutely! That would be amazing! Hell yeah!” – then it’s a no. Saying no to most things frees up room in your life to shout “HELL YEAH!” with conviction.
As someone fairly new to research, I’m glad I said yes initially; it was a learning experience. But I should have treated it more as an experiment, knowing it was a potential yes, not a definite yes. These experiments help us learn what we do best and what we’re most passionate about. Exposure is key to success.
Once you’ve reached a certain level of success, saying no becomes less painful because you have a wealth of experience to fall back on.
We all have our paths. Sometimes, the bravest step is recognising when a path isn’t yours. It’s not about backing down; it’s about stepping aside for the right person to step up.
So, reflect on this: are you doing what you’re uniquely capable of? Are you saying “Hell yeah!” to the right things?
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